Siblings...

Do you have any siblings?

I have been fortunate enough to have been blessed with a "little" brother (he's over 6 ft something) and sister...

Now some would call "technicality" on me as while we have the same mother, our father's are different. That would a HALF brother and sister... but seriously... you either are or you aren't...Right?

Anyway, they live over 1100 miles away and I can't even begin to tell you how much that's been ripping me apart.

I was pretty lucky growing up when it came to my brother. He's about 9.5 years younger than I and I had a lot of time with him (relatively speaking) before I was all grown up and wasn't able to get out there to visit as much. I carried him, snuggled him, picked on and tortured him (c'mon I am oldest!) and dragged him with me where ever I went whenever I could. He was and always will be my munchkin.

With my sister, I just never had enough time. Now she's all but grown up and so far away and GOD...what am I missing out on!?!?! Here's this gorgeous, sweet girl who is MY sister and I don't really know her... you know?

I have personally felt very alone lately, which is most likely the cause of my sort of home-sick feeling for the sister and brother that I have but never really had. In my life, family is a pretty scarce thing. We don't really have gatherings, no one is very close (location) or hangs out. At least not in any way that I'm included. This tends to make me feel like a piece of flux floating on the ocean...no real home or place to settle.

Here I am and my little brother is all grown up. He's 21, on his own, job, school, girl, the whole 9 yards. And I don't know that I'll ever get real time with him again. I really want that real time.

And my sister... just turned 17... enough said there...

So, it would seem that my chance is past. You just can't ever seem to regain the connections once you've missed them. I love my siblings... more than they would ever know or believe... but what's left to do with that?

Feeling Hopeful?

So, as you know, I've been attempting to make some useful handmade things...

I love to get feedback, so I sent an email in mass with some work that I've done and had a response from a group which is near and dear to my heart!

A Message of Hope Cancer Fund

This group is grass-roots and deserves to move up into the trees! The people there are amazing and they truly see the importance of what families need when dealing with a cancer diagnosis and treatment regimen.

So...long story short, let me know what you think of my first lettering experience and please do check out A Message of Hope and see if you can help... time... money... anything helps! Take it from someone who knows!

Thanks!

Balance - Zen - Humanity

Hello lovies!

In my life, all through it...as long as I can remember, I've always felt scattered... and as my consciousness has grown, I've increasingly come to believe that there is something in me that is out of balance.

Zen? Spirit? No clue... HOWEVER... I've come across a site that more than 100,000 have found before me and it's AMAZING!

Zen Habits - Written by Leo Babauta

Check it out... read about him, what he's accomplished... his tips, etc.

This is how I WANT to be...it's what my heart and soul desires. Lofty notions... lofty goals... but, as with all things and as I learn more and more from my Kylie8Cake friend... I can only take one thing at a time. So...I need to learn what I can and cannot do... and then learn that limitations mean nothing and all things are achievable... just not always the easy or expected way!

My Generation

Have you ever felt like you were born into the wrong generation?
The wrong era? Decade?

It's funny as I have always felt like I belonged in the 60's.

I'm a more "can't we all just get along" kind of person. I like things to be bohemian and different...

What do you think?

Creativity? Boredom....Both!

Thoughts? Likes...dislikes....You know...

One of "Those" days...

It's one of those days... we hear that expression all the time and we all have our own definitions.

The bracelet you see here is for Leukemia awareness.

Now just a couple of years ago, I wouldn't have even known how to spell Leukemia with any certainty. Now, I can spout off terms, diagnosis, side-effects, medications, and so on with ease.

My son had always been the picture of health until this diagnosis.

Today is no different than any other day while living with Leukemia, but today seems to be hitting me particularly hard. For a while now his liver function tests have been elevated. It's killing me because I feel as though I am killing my child with the cure! Seriously speaking, most of what he's taking are poisons and he still has so much more to go... how does a mommy handle that?

For instance, these "medications" affect the brain, kidneys, bladder, liver, heart...EVERYTHING. We're talking life-long side effects here people. LIFE LONG.

THIS IS SIMPLY NOT ACCEPTABLE!

How is it, how can it be that this nation- - - supposedly the most powerful nation - - - is also the most selfish!?!?!

We can invest money and spend money to make "her" boobs bigger, lips more plump, stomach flat, or "his" johnson larger, wrinkles reduced...

We can spend money on vehicles too large and further pollute our planet, we can find ways to make unripened fruits and veggies "look" good and taste horrible and lost all nutritional value.

We spend tons on new... NEW...NEW Houses, clothes, shoes, cars, etc...just to replace ones that are already there and work just fine.

Yet, in this land of plenty, of over-indulgence, of excess... we can't cure cancer...not really... at least not without poisoning those already sufferring from it. When can we finally focus on healing cancer patients without taking them to the verge of death and ruining the rest of their lives?

Just a thought... $5.2 billion was spent on cancer research...in the same year... over $13 billion spent on unnecessary cosmetic surgery. Chew on that a moment while imagining it was your child and not mine.