I have been fortunate enough to have been blessed with a "little" brother (he's over 6 ft something) and sister...
Now some would call "technicality" on me as while we have the same mother, our father's are different. That would a HALF brother and sister... but seriously... you either are or you aren't...Right?
Anyway, they live over 1100 miles away and I can't even begin to tell you how much that's been ripping me apart.
I was pretty lucky growing up when it came to my brother. He's about 9.5 years younger than I and I had a lot of time with him (relatively speaking) before I was all grown up and wasn't able to get out there to visit as much. I carried him, snuggled him, picked on and tortured him (c'mon I am oldest!) and dragged him with me where ever I went whenever I could. He was and always will be my munchkin.
With my sister, I just never had enough time. Now she's all but grown up and so far away and GOD...what am I missing out on!?!?! Here's this gorgeous, sweet girl who is MY sister and I don't really know her... you know?
I have personally felt very alone lately, which is most likely the cause of my sort of home-sick feeling for the sister and brother that I have but never really had. In my life, family is a pretty scarce thing. We don't really have gatherings, no one is very close (location) or hangs out. At least not in any way that I'm included. This tends to make me feel like a piece of flux floating on the ocean...no real home or place to settle.
Here I am and my little brother is all grown up. He's 21, on his own, job, school, girl, the whole 9 yards. And I don't know that I'll ever get real time with him again. I really want that real time.
And my sister... just turned 17... enough said there...
So, it would seem that my chance is past. You just can't ever seem to regain the connections once you've missed them. I love my siblings... more than they would ever know or believe... but what's left to do with that?
This post you have made really strikes a chord with me...I have a younger brother (over 6ft) and we have the same mom, but different dads. We grew up together and after I moved away I started to feel this horrible feeling like I was loosing my brother, he lived in Newfoundland with our mom for a year and a half and I saw him maybe once in that time, then when he moved here, 30 min down the road! I probably saw him twice in a year. I was getting really depressed about the whole situation and he was getting older and doing his own stuff which never really involved me :( However I decided to pursue our relationship and started to call him (he was not at the age where he would just pick up the phone and call me) so I had to take the initiative. Now we are going to the same university and live 2 minutes from each other and see each other a lot. lol i didn't follow him to university, it just happened the program was what i wanted haha. But we are great friends now and through me initiating conversation with him more and more and telling him how I felt I was loosing him he became more and more receptive. Remember, it is never to late to start anew with family :)
ReplyDeleteCheers!
Hilary