Without a Net

I know that most everyone feels that their life is a non-stop balancing act… I won’t disagree. Over the last couple of years I have felt more and more like I’m walking a tight-rope made of glass and covered in dish soap and every time I feel as though I’m building up some sort of safety net, someone somewhere yanks it away.

In September of 2007 my oldest son was diagnosed with Leukemia (A.L. L.) at the age of 8. At this point, my youngest son was 3.

From that point on, my youngest took a back-seat to big brother’s hospitalizations, Dr’s appointments, etc. I’ve had heartbreaking conversations with my baby boy on the phone when he’s asked me “Mommy, are you ever coming back for me?”

What person could hear that and not fall to pieces?

So here we are now, we’ve made it to 2009 and while the oldest doesn’t stop chemo until 12/2010 he’s doing well and is not on the “strong” stuff that he was previously.

Things should be getting better… right? Why can't it be THAT simple?

I can’t build up any leave at work because the “big” boy still gets sick more often than typical kids and I’m out for Dr’s appointments, blood work and the like. There’s still the medical bills and the daily medications which are a routine part of my child’s life and a routine gaping hole in my budget.

I’m on my own here, and I feel like I’m going to fall at anytime… fail at any moment

Now my little guy has to have his tonsils and adenoids removed… and guess what loving mommy will most likely have to take (even more) leave without pay? Yeah… I should be able to take that week of recovery to be with my child… not stressing over how to balance him and where he can go so that I can get back to work. That’s not fair to him…it’s just not right.

This additional drain of my leave means that I’ve had to cancel my trip to D.C. for a pediatric cancer advocacy group. Not to mention, my oldest is supposed to have a trip with Make A Wish… and guess who won’t have “leave” balances available for that either? Uh-huh. You got it, leave without pay.

Through all of this (and here comes where I really sound bitter) where have the “helpers” of the world been? The fundraising, house cleaning, meal making, awareness helpers that are supposed to be there for me… for my boys… to help relieve the crushing amounts of stress that I just don’t know what to do with anymore… Do you know where they are?

I don’t either.

Here I am… in debt beyond my eyeballs, with no hope of ever regaining the career that I once had, no hope of anyone ever offering to take up the reigns and save me… just no hope.
I’m truly not one to willingly ask for help… or to really expect it. I wasn’t brought up on “hand-outs” or ever been given lavish gifts or money. I have no expectations for what people should do… and I have no problem working for me and my children’s lives… but would it really be the end of the world if just a little simple free good graces fell on us with no strings attached…one win-fall of WOW?

What does a girl like me hang onto... this tight-rope isn’t holding up so well…

Da Rulez

It's amazing just how many ways one's own life can become screwed up.

I've generally been a girl that follows "THE RULES" to life.

Be kind to others

Don't take what isn't yours

Give whenever you can give

Earn a living and use your money responsibly

Work hard and you'll be rewarded

Love openly, honestly and loyally

Well, I could go on, but I won't... Anyway, I'm not perfect, don't get me wrong. I break the law daily in my commute to work (I speed) and there are times when I don't necessarily give when I could give... but over all, I have followed those rules to life.

So, why is it that I continue to get the absolute opposite of those rules thrown in my face and used against me?

Most people in my life have been far from kind, I've had things (including purses/cash) stolen from me, those who have "a lot" that are close to me, still don't give when they could, ***work related items omitted**, and love? HA... the "love" in my life was not open, honest or anything near to loyal.

So...WHAT'S UP!?!?!?!

Tid Bits

My Son: Mommy, I don't want my hair cut. I think i like it long.
Me: well bud, your daddy likes it short and if you go to visit with long hair he's gonna get it cut.
My Son: but I like it longer
me: so do i...talk to your daddy and see what he says
My Son: but mommy... daddy's not the boss of you anymore!?!?!?!

WOW...

It's a HEAVY Issue

Yes... Every pun was intended...

OMG, I got on a scale this morning for the first time in a long time and I thought that I would be sick. Literally I felt physically ill!

I am back to my pre-separation weight! I've gained back everything that I lost and I am edging on tears right now!

Do they still wire jaws shut???

If It's Free... It's for Meeeeee

This is super duper simple...

Do you like free?

Do you like chicken?

Do you like FREE CHICKEN?


Then woo hoo... Free Grilled Chicken Meal from KFC!


Yup... soak it in... let it register... FREEEEEEE ....

You will have to load the coupon printer software from Coupons, Inc. however, it too is free. HA!

Offer valid 05/05/09 - 05/19/09 (excluding Mother's Day)

I Lu-Lu-Lu- Oh hell, I Give Up

<----- Have stick figure cartoon people ever made more sense?

Have you ever read "Maybe He's Just Not That Into You" I have...Yet I apparently still have a problem with ACTUALLY LIVING IT.
The sad thing is that the "strong woman" inside of me totally gets the book. No B.S., no complications, no excuses... If he wants to be with me, He WILL BE WITH ME...Right? Simple enough... Then, here it comes ladies and gentlemen... You, the "strong woman" suddenly get hit - blindsided - with a "I just don't know how I feel..."

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Run for the hills, 9-1-1, FIRE, Alert Alert...

Now what? Suddenly, that STRONG Woman... is spiralling through every time a man has let her down. The absent father, the slam bam thank you ma'am, the ones who just seem to disappear... Maybe this time it will be dif...diffffffff....argh... I can't even say it. So now what? Here I am, weak, blind, confused and ready to don my safety helmet... He's got me AND his freedom while I'm left with "I DON'T KNOW" Ok... here's a thought... A man is offered a job making $500K a year. Doesn't matter doing what cuz that's good money! Anyway, benefits, money, everything... what does he say? Does he take the job? OF COURSE... and why is that?

BECAUSE HE CAN RECOGNIZE THAT IT'S A GOOD THING!!!!

Do you hear that ladies? Do we ever truly say "I don't know" to good things? To something that we value, appreciate or cherish do we EVER say, well, hold on, maybe, we'll see, I just don't know.

So... what does that tell me? I'm not of value to this person. I am not of the utmost importance. So, it doesn't matter what I feel for them...HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO ME!!!

So, you wimpy little whiney sad-sack of a girl, put your big girl panties on and deal with it! Anyone who loves you wouldn't say that they didn't know if they wanted to be with you!

And, boys and girls, that means that the man-hating, she-ra, she-bitch, STRONG WOMAN has to come back into action.

if you can't show enough smarts to appreciate the kind, compassionate, supportive, understanding, loving, giving, fun, GODDESS who is right in front of you... Go To Hell!!!

Get it?

Got it?

GOOD!

Not Cool...

Hi Peeps...
WOW... so, I thought for a minute it would be funny to explain our horrible, sick with kids weekend...

NO MORE

I'm siiiiiiiiiiiick....

It's Sucks big time...

I need broth based soup and a massage... HELP

Just Plain Funny... HA!

How We Tried to Have Easter

If you take a gander at the previous post, well, you will see that Easter was far from festive around here. Nonetheless, we sure did try! We had the 5 boys make their own shirts... here are the few shots that I was able to catch

This is Aedan and Josh... Far background is Eli

Here's the actual Eli up close and Kool-Aide faced

Of course, here's Aedan again... If there's a camera there's an Aedan

Then of course, I also tried to make a good home-grown type of meal. We had a whole ham - pineapple and brownsugar covered! - mashed potatoes, gravy, corn, green bean casserole, crescent rolls, deviled eggs and creamy cucumbers. Check these out:

What is Hell???

So, have you ever stopped to think of what hell really is or where for that matter?

Well, everyone has their theories, beliefs and histories and such, however...

I have found it.

Hell is a small duplex home, with 2 adults and 6 children in it (plus 3 cats). They are all there over Easter weekend.

You would think that this is a pretty bad scenario, but OH NO... that's just uncomfortable, we haven't discovered hell yet.

Now... those 6 kids are 9, 8, 6, 4, 3, and nearly 2 (side note: 5 boys, 1 girl).

Today is Monday and of those 6 children 5 have been sick.

Now now now, boys and girls, no I don't mean the sniffles... I'm talkin' serious stomach flu sickness!!!

Yes... Yes, this is hell.

Randomness You Should Check Out

Sometimes you come across things that are just cool to know, or bargains worth checking out. Well, when I do, I love to pass it along.

So...here ya go:
Have you seen the Netbooks? Check out this deal from AT&T
http://shopping.yahoo.com/articles/yshoppingarticles/221/att-to-offer-50-netbooks/

Long story short, Netbook for dang cheap.

Your Car Keys Can Save Your LIfe!!!!!

Did you know that your car keys could one day save your life? Seriously! Want to know how?

Ok, let's all use our imaginations for a moment.

You're leaving KMart late at night. It's dark, with only a few of those lamps in the parking lot. You have your bags of merchandise (you just wiped out their clearance sale on Easter Candy). You're fumbling your way out to your car with the bags and purse, or whatever, and next thing you know, you hear someone moving up quickly behind you. What if he/she is coming to grab you? Hit you and steal your money? What will you do? If you're at all like me, right about now your heart is thumping in your chest.

Well, most of us have a keyring that has a few keys at least. Well, before you even walk out into the lot, take those keys and put one between each finger of one hand. This is as if you're putting knives on your fist. If someone were to try to grab you, you swing and keys will seriously cut like a knife! Not to mention, if someone grabs your purse off of your shoulder, at least you have your car and house keys in your hand already (I speak from personal experience).

Also, a lot of cars have key fobs with alarms on them... If yours does, read on...

Obviously, that alarm button could help with the above scenario if someone were trying to snatch you. But, what if you're walking to your car and slip on ice and are really hurt? Hit that panic button so someone will notice.

And finally...

Keep those keys by your bedside at night. If you hear anything unusual, or someone trying to access your house, hit that panic button! Send that alarm wailing and that potential burglar will want nothing more than to be gone!

I'm sure we can think of more if we try...but how cool is that!!?? To think... My keys could save me!

Easter: The Christian and the Pagan Holiday

It's pretty much common knowledge that Easter is a Christian celebration of Christ's rising, but this holiday also has pagan origins.

Easter falls in the spring, the yearly time of renewal, when the earth renews itself after a long, cold winter. The word Easter comes to us from the Norsemen's Eostur, Eastar, Ostara, and Ostar, and the pagan goddess Eostre, all of which involve the season of the growing sun and new birth. The Easter Bunny arose originally as a symbol of fertility, due to the rapid reproduction habits of the hare and rabbit.

The ancient Egyptians, Persians, Phoenicians, and Hindus all believed the world began with an enormous egg, thus the egg as a symbol of new life has been around for eons.

The egg is nature's perfect package. It has, during the span of history, represented mystery, magic, medicine, food and omen. It is the universal symbol of Easter celebrations throughout the world and has been dyed, painted, adorned and embellished in the celebration of its special symbolism.

Before the egg became closely entwined with the Christian Easter, it was honored during many rite-of-Spring festivals. The Romans, Gauls, Chinese, Egyptians and Persians all cherished the egg as a symbol of the universe. From ancient times eggs were dyed, exchanged and shown reverence.

Neato ....Huh?

Now, we have tons of hard-boiled, dyed, crayoned, stickered and painted eggs... what do we do with them all?

The Perfect Hard-Boiled Eggs

Step 1: Place eggs in a saucepan in an even layer and cover in cold water, enough to reach the top of the shells.

Step 2: Cover with a lid and bring to a boil. Remove from heat immediately and let stand for about 10-15 minutes.

Step 3: Drain off the hot water and cover in cold water along with a few ice cubes. Let stand until completely cooled.

Keep these helpful hints in mind when making your hard-boiled eggs:
Tip: Farm fresh eggs are much harder to peel, so opt for older eggs if you plan to hard boil.
Tip: Add a small amount of baking soda to the boiling water to help make peeling easier.
Tip: Try rolling hard-boiled eggs lightly against a counter for easier cracking and peeling.

The Best Deviled Eggs

Serves 6-8Total

Time: 20 minutes

INGREDIENTS

1 dozen hard-boiled eggs, peeled

3 heaping tablespoons reduced-fat mayonnaise

1 tablespoon lemon juice

2 tablespoons fresh chives, finely chopped (plus more for garnish)

4 slices of cooked bacon, finely chopped (or bacon bits)

2 teaspoons dried tarragon

1/2 teaspoon dried mustard

1/2 teaspoon saltFreshly ground pepper, to taste

INSTRUCTIONS
Take each of your peeled hard-boiled eggs and slice off the bottom (wide) end to expose the yolk. Cut a small sliver off of the top (pointed) end to help it sit up straight.
Scoop out the yolks into a medium-sized bowl and place the whites carefully into an empty egg carton with the hole-end up for filling purposes.
In your bowl, mash the yolks with a fork and add mayonnaise, lemon juice, chives, bacon, tarragon and mustard, then stir well. Add salt and pepper to taste.
Use a pastry bag with a piping tip or a zip top plastic bag with a corner snipped at an angle to fill your egg whites with the yolk mixture. Add more mayo if the mixture is too thick to pass through. Garnish with chopped fresh chives.

Tip: You can buy piping tips in the cake decorating section of the grocery store. Try attaching one to your zip top bag for more precise and decorative filling.

Part II: “Blended Families" and Baggage

Rise and shine and meet the day! Smell the coffee sweeties… Baggage… we ALL have BAGGAGE! Unless of course you were fortunate to have perfect parents who never split or argued, who also had perfect parents who never split or argued and each of them had … well you get what I mean. That AND you married, are still with, happy and blissful together the very first person you dated seriously.

So, we all have baggage.

Here’s the thing, we bring this baggage everywhere we go, it begins to mold and shape us into what we are to the world; good and bad. Ultimately, when we go into this new relationship, new family, etc. we view things that this new partner does in the same way that we would have viewed these actions in our previous partner. So if they look a certain direction, sigh a certain way, and so on and so on, we automatically jump to the same reaction we would have given to the other partner. We become impatient, annoyed, and even argumentative. Heaven forbid that this new person have any of the same qualities as the old partner because then … well, it is all going to be amplified to say the least.

How do we handle this? How can one partner bring it to the attention of the other without inciting an argument? Is it impossible to move on in this new relationship yet drop the baggage?

I have no clue. Hell, if I did I’d be one of those so-called experts, Right? HA…

Part I: Blended Families - Fact or Fiction?

So, is it truly possible to take him and his, then add her and hers and blend them all together to make a blended family?

Let's say each of the divorced parents remarried to someone who had one child from a previous marriage. Now you each have to navigate 44 relationships. Your 2 children have to obey 6 different adults with differing ideas of right and wrong. They each have to be siblings to children from 3 other families with no one in final authority to settle disputes.

Think about that for a moment...

And we dare wonder why there are problems... children acting out... HA.... I jiggle like a bowl full of jelly with laughter...

How do we handle it? The "experts" say a lot about it - on a side note, am I the only one who's noticed a lot of the experts have absolutely no personal experience in these matters? - anyway, they always talk about consistency, word power, etc. Want to know what I think? Oooh...Come on...Sure you do, that's why you're here right? hehehehe

Ok... I've been a child of divorce, and remarriage... and a couple more of both too to be honest. And now, I too am one of the divorcee statistics. So... in som small way I'd like to think that this gives me a unique (ok, not so unique) or thorough perspective.

To summarize my opinion, it SUCKS, no ifs, ands or buts about it! From my adult (ha) perspective of today, it's truly difficult. I can see where being someone without children or being with someone without would make things so much more simple. However, it's not the real world...you don't meet a whole lot of people who are single and still have no children once you've reached a certain age bracket.

But, let's think about this... can you and this new person ever truly be partners then? Will you ever be a not single parent? The fact is that it really doesn't change an enormous amount. Here's the thing, this new person in your life is still going to be 100% in their kids lives, regardless of if they life with him/her or not. This means that while you and yours may have Monday night baseball, they and theirs have Monday night golf lessons....NOW WHAT?

This is a reality that sucks... it is when you realize that you're still a single parent... that you will ALWAYS and FOREVER MORE be a single parent. WOW... now that is some nasty crud huh!?!?!

They and theirs will certainly be going in a different direction than you and yours... again with the WOW factor. Now what?

Do you date only those without kids? That's kind of unrealistic... find a great partner with kids vs. find an OK partner without, which makes better long-term sense?

Do you never settle down (so to speak) until all the kids are old enough to where they don't want anything to do with you anyway? HA... well, that could get pretty sad and pretty lonely.

Date someone extraordinarily older or younger than yourself? Hm...possibilities...

Forget it all and crawl into a hole.... Yup... that's the one.

Ok, Ok, if you have kids, the hole crawling option isn't really an option. If you're anything like me, you're happy to find someone who cares for and about children. But it still answers NO QUESTIONS AT ALL.

Forever a single parent, even if I date, live with, marry or whatever with one person for the next 50 years... WOW... talk about a sucker punch.

Therefore, In reality, a truly blended family would be FICTION (unless of course one or more of the exes is "passed on" - not likely).

...

... .... Part I;

... ... ... ... Part II tomorrow...

Save the date

Save the date:

June 22 – 23

CureSearch REACH THE DAY 2009 will be the ninth annual gathering of the childhood cancer community in Washington, D.C.

The event provides an opportunity for those who care about children with cancer, to share their story with our nation’s leaders, and to impress upon them that critical funding for childhood cancer research is needed.

We come together in one place on one day to raise our voices for all children with cancer and for those who no longer have a voice..

EVERYONE is welcome and there is NO COST to register for this event. The only expense would be in travel and hotel.

For sign-up, or more information please contact me at:

Justwondering1997@yahoo.com

Or

Sabrinag191@myactv.net

**We are hoping to work together and fundraise in order to assist in covering the travel and hotel expense for our group – this will be a vital portion of our success in making it to this event**

SUPER IMPORTANT!!!!!

Save the date:
June 22 – 23

CureSearch REACH THE DAY 2009 will be the ninth annual gathering of the childhood cancer community in Washington, D.C.

The event provides an opportunity for those who care about children with cancer, to share their story with our nation’s leaders, and to impress upon them that critical funding for childhood cancer research is needed.

We come together in one place on one day to raise our voices for all children with cancer and for those who no longer have a voice.

EVERYONE is welcome and there is NO COST to register for this event. The only expense would be in travel and hotel.

For sign-up, or more information please contact me at:

Justwondering1997@yahoo.com
Or
Sabrinag191@myactv.net

**We are hoping to work together and fundraise in order to assist in covering the travel and hotel expense for our group – this will be a vital portion of our success in making it to this

event**

Siblings...

Do you have any siblings?

I have been fortunate enough to have been blessed with a "little" brother (he's over 6 ft something) and sister...

Now some would call "technicality" on me as while we have the same mother, our father's are different. That would a HALF brother and sister... but seriously... you either are or you aren't...Right?

Anyway, they live over 1100 miles away and I can't even begin to tell you how much that's been ripping me apart.

I was pretty lucky growing up when it came to my brother. He's about 9.5 years younger than I and I had a lot of time with him (relatively speaking) before I was all grown up and wasn't able to get out there to visit as much. I carried him, snuggled him, picked on and tortured him (c'mon I am oldest!) and dragged him with me where ever I went whenever I could. He was and always will be my munchkin.

With my sister, I just never had enough time. Now she's all but grown up and so far away and GOD...what am I missing out on!?!?! Here's this gorgeous, sweet girl who is MY sister and I don't really know her... you know?

I have personally felt very alone lately, which is most likely the cause of my sort of home-sick feeling for the sister and brother that I have but never really had. In my life, family is a pretty scarce thing. We don't really have gatherings, no one is very close (location) or hangs out. At least not in any way that I'm included. This tends to make me feel like a piece of flux floating on the ocean...no real home or place to settle.

Here I am and my little brother is all grown up. He's 21, on his own, job, school, girl, the whole 9 yards. And I don't know that I'll ever get real time with him again. I really want that real time.

And my sister... just turned 17... enough said there...

So, it would seem that my chance is past. You just can't ever seem to regain the connections once you've missed them. I love my siblings... more than they would ever know or believe... but what's left to do with that?

Feeling Hopeful?

So, as you know, I've been attempting to make some useful handmade things...

I love to get feedback, so I sent an email in mass with some work that I've done and had a response from a group which is near and dear to my heart!

A Message of Hope Cancer Fund

This group is grass-roots and deserves to move up into the trees! The people there are amazing and they truly see the importance of what families need when dealing with a cancer diagnosis and treatment regimen.

So...long story short, let me know what you think of my first lettering experience and please do check out A Message of Hope and see if you can help... time... money... anything helps! Take it from someone who knows!

Thanks!

Balance - Zen - Humanity

Hello lovies!

In my life, all through it...as long as I can remember, I've always felt scattered... and as my consciousness has grown, I've increasingly come to believe that there is something in me that is out of balance.

Zen? Spirit? No clue... HOWEVER... I've come across a site that more than 100,000 have found before me and it's AMAZING!

Zen Habits - Written by Leo Babauta

Check it out... read about him, what he's accomplished... his tips, etc.

This is how I WANT to be...it's what my heart and soul desires. Lofty notions... lofty goals... but, as with all things and as I learn more and more from my Kylie8Cake friend... I can only take one thing at a time. So...I need to learn what I can and cannot do... and then learn that limitations mean nothing and all things are achievable... just not always the easy or expected way!

My Generation

Have you ever felt like you were born into the wrong generation?
The wrong era? Decade?

It's funny as I have always felt like I belonged in the 60's.

I'm a more "can't we all just get along" kind of person. I like things to be bohemian and different...

What do you think?

Creativity? Boredom....Both!

Thoughts? Likes...dislikes....You know...

One of "Those" days...

It's one of those days... we hear that expression all the time and we all have our own definitions.

The bracelet you see here is for Leukemia awareness.

Now just a couple of years ago, I wouldn't have even known how to spell Leukemia with any certainty. Now, I can spout off terms, diagnosis, side-effects, medications, and so on with ease.

My son had always been the picture of health until this diagnosis.

Today is no different than any other day while living with Leukemia, but today seems to be hitting me particularly hard. For a while now his liver function tests have been elevated. It's killing me because I feel as though I am killing my child with the cure! Seriously speaking, most of what he's taking are poisons and he still has so much more to go... how does a mommy handle that?

For instance, these "medications" affect the brain, kidneys, bladder, liver, heart...EVERYTHING. We're talking life-long side effects here people. LIFE LONG.

THIS IS SIMPLY NOT ACCEPTABLE!

How is it, how can it be that this nation- - - supposedly the most powerful nation - - - is also the most selfish!?!?!

We can invest money and spend money to make "her" boobs bigger, lips more plump, stomach flat, or "his" johnson larger, wrinkles reduced...

We can spend money on vehicles too large and further pollute our planet, we can find ways to make unripened fruits and veggies "look" good and taste horrible and lost all nutritional value.

We spend tons on new... NEW...NEW Houses, clothes, shoes, cars, etc...just to replace ones that are already there and work just fine.

Yet, in this land of plenty, of over-indulgence, of excess... we can't cure cancer...not really... at least not without poisoning those already sufferring from it. When can we finally focus on healing cancer patients without taking them to the verge of death and ruining the rest of their lives?

Just a thought... $5.2 billion was spent on cancer research...in the same year... over $13 billion spent on unnecessary cosmetic surgery. Chew on that a moment while imagining it was your child and not mine.

What's it all about ...Alfiiiiieeee?

Sooo, this is my eye... lol

Anyway, my crochet bug has persisted. It's kind of funny considering that the weather is now warming up. Can anyone explain? I think I'm making a shawl type of wrap item? No clue. We'll just see when it's done. It's kind of like abstract art to me...I don't really know what it is I'm making... I'm just going in the direction that feels right.



Can anyone tell me if they think that there's any possibility in making money with any of this? Grrr...

I continue to grow frustrated and stressed over my current life... well, past and future too, but consider that the current life is the now and now is where I am, I guess that's what I'll need to focus on...

Is it completely wrong, immature or idiotic to be 31 years old (eeewwww) and have no clue at all what you want from your life or who the hell you are? I used to know... a few years ago, I knew that I was a mother and wanted to be, that I was a wife and wanted to be and that I was a manager of a place that I respected, in which I felt respected and valued and thought that I was doing well... that I may even be able to be considered as successful.

Now, March of 2009, well, I don't know any of that.... well... except the mom part. Come on, that had to have been a given right?

How I feel is that I'm drowning in:

• Mom
  
• Daughter


• Granddaughter


• Sister


• Girlfriend


• Employee


• "Ex"


• Friend


• Nurse


• Maid


• Cook


• Supporter


• Therapist

That's a lot to be!

Then, there's what I want to be/feel:

• free


• creative


• crafty


• singer


• artist


• entrepreneur


• respected


• trusted


• loved


• great mother... GREAT


• invincible


• free


• active

................................Weeeeeeell.... that list could go on! FOREVER!

So anyway, what do I do with all this? How do you get "help" when you don't have time...sincerely don't have time. I find myself growing envious... GREEN with it... of people who don't have children, who get along with their ex, who's children behave more than misbehave, seem to have time, who are focused, who are driven... again, this too could be never-ending.

What's my point!?!? I don't know. If I knew, hell, then I probably wouldn't need to write it down. I've lost all drive, focus, passion... I've really lost a lot...

Every ending leads to a new beginning

Another creation... Thoughts?

So... now you've seen my first two creations...what do you think? Do I have a shot? Be brutally honest!

For sale... $6...

Double loop braclet... blues and greens....

For Sale - Yippee...

This is the finished product of my craft bug hat! This is hopefully the start of a beautiful friendship - you know, me and the bug!?! Lol.

Anyway, I'm hoping to build momentum and get my business off of the ground.

So... I'm asking $8 for the very first official Weird Chic Creation!

Thanks!

Bitten By the Bug!

Good morning! Do you know why it's good? Cuz I feel oh so accomplished! This picture is of a cute little cappie I made just last night!

Now, it's not done, and I plan to embellish it with a few crocheted flowers.

So, it's the crafting bug! I haven't done this stuff in 15 years or more! My plan is to (hopefully) do more and sell my crafts. Etsy is the goal, but you need money to make money so that will be a while!

I have a few friends with adorable little girls who can hopefully model for my accessories... and I'll be sure to include the boys too! Hopefully to come are some onesies, hats, and I don't even know what else! I'm just so excited!

This is me...being a geek...

Dumpster Diving! Oh Yeah... We did it...

No joke boys and girls, my dear friend, Kylie Ate Cake (aka K8C), and I went dumpster diving! Why you ask? WHY NOT!?!?!?

Allow me to ellaborate...

First, when I say that "WE" went dumpster diving... well... I am the only one insane enough to actually enter a dumpster...lol... however, K8C was truly a sport.

Picture if you will, it's dark (we met up around 10 PM), misting rain, and quite chilly in fact. We took K8C's car and headed out for our treasure hunt. I'll tell you what I've learned:

• All dumpsters are not created equal
• straddling the top of a dumpster while contemplating your entry does not feel good upon one's crotch-al type areas
• that according to some (ahem ahem ahem - K8C), every dark place, every train track, and every large box is a sure sign of Hobos. Hobos, in case you did not know are always creepy old men and always out to get you. They apparently are also very stealth in that you must be on the constant look out and wouldn't possibly hear them coming.
• Big Lots and Ollies truly have the best stuff!
• We must start noting when trash pick-up is for different locations.
• Before getting carried away and fishing out everything cool...check the first couple to make sure there's no real reason that they are in the garbage.
• Not all things slippery in a trash can are yucky...they just are until you realize what they are...lol
• Grocery stores throw away stuff that really is still good!
• You CAN in fact fish very well with what used to be a broom handle - however - said broom handle cannot handle an industrial garbage back full of granola bars.

All in all, I would dare to say that I had an absolute blast! Here's the take:

• Granola bars - I haven't counted, but at least 100
• Mini bottles of shampoo
• Toy Car
• Travel coffee mug
• garbage bags - not used - a torn box of perfect garbage bags
• ear bud headphones - they work
• a picture frame - glass in tact, needs one side super glued
• adorable boys lamp shade
• Special K bars
• Cute decorative curtain anchors
• a really pretty lace curtain - nothing at all wrong with it
• And, the Creme-de-la-creme - the perfect can with no label!

Check out the pictures!

This is definitly an adventure that I plan on doing again and again...and I hope dearest Kylie 8 Cake will continue to join me!

Now...here's a special treat... We have decided that we simply must have a contest! Guess the contents of the mystery can! K8C believes it to be creamed corn and I believe it to be chunked pineapple. Lol. We are a creative pair. Indeed.

What do you win!?!?!?!?!?

$10!! That's TEN DOLLARS!! Ten Buckaroos.... (must have paypal)

To enter they have to guess what is in the can and post your answer here...

If there is more than one right answer, then I'll use random.org to select the winner from all correct answers.

You'll get 1 extra entry each for

1. Follow me

2. follow kylie ate cake4

3. subsribe to kylie ate cake's newsletter

So, come on boys and girls ...Tell me what you think!! I gotta hear from you before 10 PM EST. on March the 31st!

Follow me, get all the points you can and tell me what's in the mystery can!

Edition I: Bisexuality

So, now the question remains: just how to broach the subject. Because right now, we are no longer JUST discussing sex...OH NO... we are discussing sexuality. To be more precise, in this post, we're discussing being Bisexual.

Bisexuality Defined: A person who is sexually attracted to and engages in sensual or sexual relationships with people of either sex. A bisexual person may not be equally attracted to both sexes, and the degree of attraction may vary over time.

OK then... that explains it... If it is nothing...

How do I know if someones "Bi?" Just like any other sexual orientation, there's no "right or wrong" way to be bisexual.

Some would argue that bisexuality isn't even real. That persons of this orientation are simply confused.

Bisexuals often face reticule, not only as what's faced by the gay community, but they don't fit the mold of heterosexual, nor do they fit in with homosexual.

And, not helping the matter is the media's depiction of bisexuality. Showing bisexuals as sex addicts, indiscriminate, without any standards, taste or class.

So, tell me...What do you think? I would love some comments on this...to truly know what you think. Think Think Think Think...

Ok, seriously... I can tell you that people feel what they feel and believe what they believe. I know it is not my place to judge. Besides I am simply the weirdest person I know, so who am I to say. I know people of every orientation and I cherish them all for everything that they are...

Do you feel differently if a friend tells you "Sally, I need to tell you that I am bi" Now, I have known people to be like "So?" and I have known others to instantly think that she was going to hit on her...Lol. Again...what do you think?

I do think people who are Bi have an "easier" time when it comes to coming out simply because they don't have to... most family and even friends don't even ever need to know. Simply because they can appear to be "normal" ... i.e. heterosexual.

Have you ever thought about it? Someone of the same sex? Are you that guy who dreams of "girl on girl?" Lol...well, we all have our own lives...right?

I'd Like to Write a Series... Introduction.

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I've been looking for a way to write about modern sex without coming across as tacky, crude or uncouth. This is a task that I have been finding to be rather difficult. Now, the thing is that I am unsure if it is hard because I'm just a blunt and admittedly open person, or if everything is so damn politically correct anymore that you just never know what's "OK" to say.

So, this is what I've decided to do...

Write what the hell I want!

The masses are asses!

Yay Me!

Please now boys and girls, please do not get upset. I do VERY much value your opinions... I truly adore hearing conflicting views and playing the "devil's advocate" for all the difficult topics out there. Keep in mind, opinion has never killed anyone... only action can stake that claim...

So, we shall call this my introduction. Ladies and gentlemen, I hope that I can entertain, enlighten and maybe even educate you with my (probably really) short series on HUMAN SEXUALITY...duh duh duh...

I Beg of Thee...

I'm sending out a plea... Help me to get the word out about my blog... Pretty Please!

Thanks!

A Mother's Guilt

Seriously speaking, I am many things in my life... some make sense and most don't, however, before anything and everything else...I AM A MOM.

Have you heard of Mother's Guilt? Thanks to women's lib, women today have more to be "strong" for than ever before. Truly, I think it's getting even harder every day. More and more, traditional roles are greyed.

Please, Do not mis-understand me...I am all for the working mom, the right to wear the skirt or the pants in my family. However, for most people there are still some basic beliefs that are so ingrained it's taking longer to change. Longer than the push of women doing it all is taking.

Anyway, with all this, a mother's guilt is even worse. Mom has always had guilt. It's are we doing enough, loving enough, teaching enough...etc. However, today it's much worse. Have I left them alone too much, at daycare too long, too many activities, not enough activities, was the dinner I made healthy enough, did I clean the floor good enough, are their clothes good enough, should I be making more money, should I quit, are my benefits good enough... trust me...it could go on and on and on and on and on...

Now...if you get the unique (though not so rare any longer) privilege of being a single mother...WHOA...Watch out! Because you will have guilt like no other! It's never ending and to be honest...sometimes completely irrational!

I can tell you from personal experience, if you have the "father" involved, whatever the situation, he will find a way to make it even worse. When he is done with you, the hole in the ozone, Holocaust, seal clubbing, oil dependency, trans-fats, cancer AND the stain on your son's jacket will all be your fault!

I know I make a joke here...but Guys... cut (some) of us a break... and ladies... try to find someone you trust to lean on. I for one have only the choice to do what I can... and try.

Happy Friday the 13th!

So, what do you think?

Do YOU have Trisadekaphobia? paraskavedekatriaphobia? friggatriskaidekaphobia?

Is it anything 13 related...or just Friday the 13th... Let's investigate, Shall we?

Did you know that 2009 has THREE Friday the 13ths? Usually, there are two of these in a year. So, is 2009 EXTRA unlucky? Lol...

• Superstitious diners in Paris can hire a quatorzieme, or professional 14th guest.
• It's been estimated that [U.S] $800 or $900 million is lost in business on this day because people will not fly or do business they would normally do.
• According to superstition, if you cut your hair on Friday the 13th, someone in your family will die.
• A myth says that if a funeral procession passes you on Friday the 13th, you are the next to die.
• Tupac died on Friday the 13th
• Castro was born on Friday the 13th

Ok... so are you worried? Should I be worried? I can tell you, honestly, if it CAN go wrong, it WILL go wrong for ME! Lol... I do try to maintain a humorous view of this fact, and I mean that it is a FACT! Ask and I'll prove it. Ha!

Anyway, I've never found anything in my personal life that corresponds with Friday the 13th... heck, never even anything with 13 that I can recall.

So...It's my (un)scientific conclusion that it's all a big pile of pffffffffft.

Random Hilariousity

TAKEN - WOW Again!

Liam Neeson OWNS this role... He was so believable.

Ok, I don't want to really review it so much as I want to tell you...and you tell the next guy...and the next gal...and then she tells 3 more and so on...that this movie is AMAZING!!!!

Have you seen it? Wow... there's a few key lines in it - that i won't say so i won't ruin - that will just - rock - your - world!!!! Ohh, you just don't know, I want to tell you so badly...but I won't...I just can't!

Grrrr... Anyway... Long story short, every girl in the world wants this guy as her daddy! ALL OF US! I don't care if you hate your dad, your uncle, don't know your dad, you hate men in general...doesn't matter...Just DOES NOT MATTER! We all want this man as our daddy!

So, get this... Did you know that FOX Productions are idiots? AMERICA...They kept this movie from us...this AMAZING movie! They released it almost a full year in Europe before here in the U.S.A.!!! WHAT? Grrr again ladies and gents...Grrrr indeed! Oh...Oh Oh Oh...South America...They came before us too!

Why?!?!? The world *sigh* may never know...